100Stone | INDIE ALASKA

100Stone | INDIE ALASKA


♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ I believe I remember the first
time I had suicidal thoughts and I believe
that was when I was six years
old. And it happened on a day that
my father had held me under water in a bath. And for what I have known to be
the rest of my life, I have wanted those things
that have haunted me from those
periods as well as the chronic illness
that I’ve experienced I’ve wanted them to stop. And
my suicidal thoughts have revolved around
that, just making it stop. ♪♪ I’ve had several suicide
attempts Thankfully I’ve survived and
I’m as healthy as I can be
today. I’m a teacher. I work with high school
students with disabilities. I know that my inner
environment should have no
place in their world. And two years ago, my inner environment came just
minutes after the end of our school day, crashing
down on me in one of a series of panic attacks I had
been having that month. Somehow, within that moment of
confusion and catastrophe, I was also able to think, call
for help. And I did. ♪♪ That was the beginning of this
incredible period I’ve had in this last two years of my
life. I sat down with my counselor that
afternoon. We found a doctor who’s changed
my world. I understand now that having
those thoughts were more a signal of some things
that had gone wrong in my body, than they were of a
real message from myself telling me to do
something very real. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ The first word on the first on
the first proposal happened in January
2014 and by the time we have
everything installed and ready
to celebrate it’ll be 23 months. Initially I didn’t imagine
myself casting from life, but I wanted
very much to have stories that were like
mine. I wanted to facilitate a careful telling of a story in a figural way and
I thought well then I have to reach people. And then I
thought well then I can’t keep it in Anchorage. It very very quickly became an
advocacy project It was no longer just a
sculpture installation. It became a movement. ♪♪ ♪♪ When we see all of these figures out there and how beautiful
they are out there in their
gestures often expressing pain, we’ll be
able to see that it’s beautiful. We’ve made something beautiful. I didn’t make this. This isn’t
mine anymore. This is hundreds of ours. And
that’s so important. I want everyone who’s been
involved to feel what it feels
like to have made something so massive and so important ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

4 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Sara(h), you should be so proud of who you've become. You're a strong person and a fabulous artist. My only regret is that we didn't stay in touch. Love from an old friend from Norwalk. Love to you always. Stay strong. I've been there too and I know. Sober now 15 years. ?

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