Asperger Syndrome: Rejection is the Story of My Life…

Asperger Syndrome: Rejection is the Story of My Life…


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  1. I am sitting here crying my eyes out as I listen to you speak. Not because I feel pity but because I am overwhelmed with empathy. Thank you for being brave enough to share this. I know the word 'brave' is so overused in our society but I truly mean it in its true definition here. I was with someone for 9 years, I will be 29 this month, and this syndrome tore us apart. We are still best friends and neither of us it dating but this video made so many things incredibly clear to me. I hope you all of the joy and happiness in the world. <3

  2. Liking the analogy with the fishbowl, wich can be applied on many different personal lifelong "situations".
    Though, if the world behaves like fish you need to learn to put out the right bait.
    For example: If youre socially awkward then becoming really good at something can very much be a really big turnon for ppl around you and make them want to get closer and sense quality in you. Possibly even making them want to hear you out talking about life in general.

    Just wanna point out that if you're going to hunt and catch something kinda overwhelming you dont get into close combat the first thing you do. No! You, you build traps and throw out lures. Become something "interesting" instead of some "rabid desperation". Also dont forget to keep an open face to ppl wanting to get close to you. Take it slow, dont rush anything. Remember, the more you feel the need to rush things, the more time you actually have at your hand.

  3. Human beings are shallow and they want to remain without discomfort at all times. They will paint a picture of you strictly based off of what you say and how you act. They will disregard the possibility of an internal dialogue even though they have one themselves.

    As a person who stutters, I know the pain of social interaction better than anybody and yeah I feel your pain bro. Been through similar experiences myself and as hard as it to do and say, you have to be self sufficient. Basically, a loner. Not the life you, I or anyone else wants but we make the best of the hand we're dealt. That's all we can do.

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  5. It’s too exhausting. Too exhausting to put forth all the energy you have to try and be someone you’re not. You develop other mental issues on top of an issue you’re born with and you just can’t help it. Especially when you seem normal from the outside and you can’t tell what it is that other people do that you don’t that allows them to be accepted socially. What is it? I try so hard to mimic other people’s behavior, I observe constantly, i try to do every thing that I see other normal people do but still not good enough. Shit i work out, dress in uncomfortable clothes that is supposed to look good and make sure a practice good hygiene. I don’t ask for pity, i guess I don’t even need help anymore because I’m so used to it, I just want a little bit of acceptance.

  6. This is my experience and you have worked out the details that I haven’t observed fully yet. I feel less confused now . Thanks

  7. I understood and agreed with all of that. Not as someone with just a mental illness but as an autistic. I have ASD.

  8. Life is too valuable to waste bro. Use your experience to bring knowledge and attention to this issue. So there is a discussion. You have a purpose. Don't forget that. Life always has ups and 4 downs. In the soviet union some pplz lives were more negative than positive, but they lived, and they found pirpose. Always look up. Keep growing. Keep fighting. Don't let this life's miserable moments beat you down.

  9. Yeah, I'm like that as well even though I was only diagnosed with depression I nust have something else because rejection is always happenning to me so much so that I avoid leaving home as much as possible cause whats the point, I got used to being alone and having to always deal with stuff by myself so it is what it is, thanks for sharing?

  10. This sinful world is full of heartbreak and torment as a result of humanity abandoning God and choosing to go it's own way. We chose through Adam to define good and evil for ourselves, and the pursuit of happiness. And the world we live in is the result of that. It is cursed and broken because God has removed His immediate presence, so things are falling apart, in the universe, in our mind and relationships, in nature, etc.

    The situation would be hopeless and we would all be left exposed to the wrath of God because of our sin but God has worked to make a way of escape from this world of pain and evil. Christ came to live a perfect life under God's law, and then ha was rejected by men, hated, despised, shamed and broken, then crucified and abandoned by God on the cross, to satisfy God's anger over our sin. By doing this He purchased a final pardon so that all who believe and put their hope in Him would not be condemned but set free to come to God in life and in heaven. In the new world God is planning all the cursed aspects of this world will be gone, pain and suffering, disabilities and disorders of all kinds will all be wiped away permanently.

    Repent and put your hope in God and in the new heaven and earth. Read the bible and pray to God asking Him to show you the light of His glory in the face of Jesus Christ so that you may know the truth and love Him for who He is, the greatest treasure in all the world. Heaven Himself.

    https://www.desiringgod.org/books/for-your-joy

  11. I remember being told I have an expressionless face. I been told I’m offensive, a girl once told me I give of serial killer vibes… It also doesn’t help that I have a morbid fascination and incredibly dark sense of humour. Being too smart is a curse, especially you like me and hardly ever sleep and can’t relate to the idiot masses. I have to get extremely drunk and lower my IQ to their level to be able to even have a conversation with normal people. Nothing I hate more than small talk, all that how’s the weather bullshit, hows work? No one cares… if you want to have a deep conversation on something I know heaps about on the other hand you’ll never shut me up. Talk to me about science, technology, astrology, history, religion, politics, war, global international news, sex, violence, crime, dictators, Nazis, communist, American Imperialism, political theory, music theory, classical music, composers or anything that your not meant to talk about in general with people you just meet. The more taboo the better.

  12. Most people don’t need to expend all their energy on putting up filters, so they are incapable of helping people like us. Our brains just work faster and more powerfully than most people’s, and intelligence is demonized in our society, so we constantly have to filter ourselves as to not make others insecure about their intelligence. When that filter runs out, we lose people because they feel insulted by our very presence. It’s hard pretending to be normal when you are not, and I’m not counting on help from anybody, not because I don’t need it, but because I have no choice. When the filter comes off, everyone leaves.

  13. I have Asperger syndrome and would give my right arm for the ability to speak as fluently and eloquently as you are in this video. I have real difficulties with verbal communication, especially with people who I am unfamiliar with. Written speech however is a different story altogether. This contrast is so frustrating.

  14. Rejection and loss have been intertwined with my being for as long as I can remember. I'm now 43. I'm kind, well-groomed, thoughtful. I'm not so much good for conversation, avoid speaking on phones, eye-contact is a nightmare, despise crowded rooms, etc. One of my children, for instance, had a hard time understanding my awkward and non-responsive behavior… only threatening 'change or else'. Of course, I would love to have the ability to change, but well, that didn't work out well in the end. Another case, in that I have had need to take trains and buses for long trips, a large percentage of those trips went with other passengers taking a quick look at me and deciding to sit somewhere else. Almost always the last person to have somebody sit next to me. I never quite understood it, but I suppose my anxieties give off a discomforting projection.
    I appreciate hearing your experience, and will look at more of your vids.

  15. To much high self esteem, and pride, and to much self centererdness, lost in your own thoughts, a spiritual Malady, stop relying on other people, full of fear

  16. Apart from feeling invisible, I'm most affected when I'm given a genuine invitation to join a group ( say, after a meditation ), when I just want to be on my own. The heartfelt sincerity gets me, even though I feel compelled to leave.
    I used to join in more. Perhaps I have become more estranged somehow. Autistic people are, I feel, on a different wavelength. Others sometimes can interact to a degree with us, but it's often a hit or miss business.
    From a spiritual perspective It has been said that autistics are not fully in this life, we have one foot in a different world. Hence many difficulties.

  17. I was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 14 and have anxiety. Going through high school and college I never thought of it. I was in a fraternity and lived in frat house. You have to socialize more and more and its basically gone as you grow older but your anxiety will likely be high from too much socialization.

    I take Ativan everyday. Those with aspergers need it and thrive on it. Ive been on it for two years getting 12 a month and three weeks ago my doctor put me on it everyday with panic attacks and so on. My life has been awesome since.

    You will have anxiety disorders if you have this diagnoses. Get on benzodiazepine medication and your life will change.

  18. it's not that when you stop keeping it up that people become disinterested with you, its perhaps the fact that you're keeping it up that tires others around you. from personal experience at least. Maybe a good solution would be to practice not worrying about their reactions, that might allow others to relax more around you and be willing to get further. We all can sense each others stresses and perhaps you just have to adapt to being different 🙂 as different as your reality feels to you as you would compare others to be experiencing, it really truly isn't. keep up with the good inner conversations, and keep them positive for growth.

  19. Powerful! Thank you for sharing this with us. Also I don’t know if you have noticed, but over 350,000 people are seeing you, noticing you, and really appreciate what you have to say. Right now you are possibly giving hope to 1000s of people around the World.

  20. yes and people wonder why people who shoot up schools do what they do. they do it because they are not accepted as people worthy of respect in this society.

  21. OK, wait a minute. I have been watching this with an open mind but I think the problem is not other people not caring about you and instead it’s that you are expecting too much of other people.

    Listen man, I got too much stuff on my plate. Working 60 to 70 hours per week, raising three young kids on my own, dealing with all the BS that regular people have to deal with. The truth is I’m too busy to care deeply about others.

    Hey man, I see all kinds of people swimming around me and avoiding me just as I avoid them. We smile, we exchange pleasantries, then we go on our way. That’s how life is. Watching this video you made, with all due respect, is not much more than some individual who has a poor grasp of social norms and is expecting other people who are far too busy and too preoccupied with their own stresses to care so deeply about you as you expect others should. To be honest it’s a little bit ridiculous it makes you appear extremely needy and pitiful.

    Time to grow up, be a man, and stop wallowing in your self loathing.

  22. Huh.. I know this might sound bad on my part but you don't look like a person with Aspergers. you look like a teacher or the face of some kind of cologne company, partially because of the eyes. god damn.. those eyes though.

  23. I learned a loooong time ago to NEVER depend on ANYone for ANYthing, so I became fiercely independent, I can handle everything that comes my way on my own.

  24. I can relate with you on this man! A relationship with Jesus Christ can bring you out of that! Man will always let you down and make you feel alone but Jesus is unchanging and will never let you down or turn His back on you!!

  25. I think you're very well-spoken and aware of many things about which most others are not. There is a book that helped me quite a bit with relationships called the Courage to Be Disliked that you might enjoy, I hope that by being yourself and being upfront and honest, people who respect and appreciate you for your unique perspective and personality will naturally gravitate. I don't think I have Aspergers. My therapist told me I don't, but I've always felt that I have many of the characteristics typical of it. But if I might speak for myself and others who might feel the same, You don't have to try to please me. I am a person who is more interested in knowing who other people actually are inside versus the persona they might be projecting outward, I value diversity and variety. Unfortunately for society, I think what you are pointing out regarding the rejections you have faced in your life is not even half the "strangeness" of you, but more than half the cowardice of others. Take care.

  26. I never considered this before. Whew this is relatable. I just hate the fact that you / we need to bend over backwards for other people when they don't lend you the same courtesy.

  27. Man, I had a friend I entertained while he needed some time. Then I asked him for a ride to something that's less than a mile away. He said it was too much of an inconvenience. I'll be letting him know next time I see him. Wonder what he'll say.

  28. This is a video from a while ago, but anyway, thanks man. I don't know what I would do without an aspie mirror. When I keep comparing myself to neurotypicals I get too many negative feelings, of being ignored, not understood, of being too different, weird, and all-over 'not good enough'. I am quite good at masking, but it takes a lot of energy and once in a while we're bound to crash.

  29. I know how you feel. I feel like I’ve always tried to reach out to people and be there for people but I never hear from anyone. I have such bad social skills it’s hard to speak to people mainly cause I have issues probrobly Asbergers and extreme anxiety. Honestly like this video I don’t even know what to say about everything I feel it takes a ton of energy just to do everything and I’m so tired of trying. The only thing i can say is Jesus loves us very much. I don’t know why things are the way they are but I just wanna say I totally understand you man I totally feel this down to the core!

  30. I got into a conversation at the gym side by side with a man with obvious Aspergers. He spoke about five decibels louder than the norm. He spoke quickly and just compressed as much information about a subject as he could. He didn't know when to stop and breathe or pause and reciprocate. The sad part is that he was very smart, but didn't have the gift of gab in order to make the conversation equitable.

  31. What are you asking of these people who reject you? You never said, so i cannot form an opinion if your requests are socially reasonable or not. I don’t ask for anything from anybody, I do it myself or go without. Best of Luck

  32. "Ignored till i go away". Yep, same here. For me it has been easier to make friends and blend in as i got older. Still hard though.

  33. I was never diagnosed with this, but i'm 99% sure I have it. 32 and no friends since high school. Now I work from home which I think has made it worse…
    What bothered me the most was being asked "Why don't you talk?" Or "Why are you so quiet?" during school years, mostly from teachers. I thought I talked plenty, but they made me feel like I was weird, they would even bring it up during parent teacher conferences!

  34. I have autism as well, i look like a normal guy. But I have a hard time socializing. Might always be alone because of that

  35. Feeling the need to look at things from others points of views, all the while forgetting yourself. That's one way I described this as.

  36. You keep talking about modifying your behavior to make others comfort but dont ask why are they entitled to comfort but not you? Having friends is nice but you shouldnt be putting forth effort when people wont make effort for you. relationships are mutual.

  37. Love the way you explained this . Hope you find genuine people in your life who truly care and love about you to always make sure you’re seen. ?

  38. This is a really valuable video to me because I have autism and I experience life just as you said, your not alone buddy, thankyou and I'm so glad I'm also not alone

  39. I have the symptomatic thoughts and actions of one with Aspergers. Nature or nurture? Mine was nurture (lack thereof) at its inception, at the age of seven. Following good practice of the times, I was held back a grade – ripped from my nurturing environment. Imprinting on rejection, failure, and isolation sealed my fate for the next 60 years. That 'lights out' moment held me in fear and worry. Captivated by your every word regarding your own social perceptions and dysfunctions…I find myself a kindred spirit.

    After years of introspection, the root cause of my dysfunction clear to me, I have been able to reprogram my belief system. I now have self worth. At 71, my isolation continues, yet is abating quickly…in my own mind. Able to more easily be 'in the moment' with myself and others, self-monitoring just to please others is coming to an end. Inner and outer thoughts and behaviors are less traumatic, more calm, more socially available.

    To all those who have thrown me overboard, with cement blocks – no thanks for your lack of compassion. I had been an easy target for rejection. Self-rejecting made me unworthy to you. Unworthy. Simply walking away solved your problem. It exacerbated mine. Would that you took the measure of friendship we once shared, and found a way to separate with dignity. No one can suffer a drowning soul and not be affected. Self-preservation through separation is not in and of itself a bad thing. Having the grace to separate with a gesture of love and empathy is all I/we ask. The work to heal is ours to do. Your rejection is unbearable, understandable and instructive. Leave us with dignity – do not search for ways to harm (us)….that is a given.

  40. I appreciate this video so much!! Thank you. Two sons on the spectrum, and myself possibly as well. You describe life perfectly ?

  41. My brother has Asperger’s syndrome, but he won’t admit it, he will go in rants about how he isn’t Asperger’s syndrome. It’s obvious that he has it and he’s tested positive for it twice. I feel bad for him and don’t want him to feel different but he needs to except everyone is different but he won’t. Does anyone else see that Asperger’s won’t admit to having it ?

  42. Usually, whenever any stress or anger builds up inside me, I just go to the backyard and kill whatever small animals that I can get my hands on.

  43. I dont have the same situation, but I sure do live with rejection. I've given up. Nobody will ever want me, and I am meant to be alone. I've accepted that.

  44. I thank you so much for this video as someone who has Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I was able to relate in immeasurable ways watching this video.

  45. I related with everything you said, except I stopped giving a fuck. I feel like ego can be the problem in most cases of the turmoil you stated.
    WE ARE NOT NORMAL.
    Call me a retard but I’m a menace because I like to be one. I think that life is partly meaningless without authenticity. I could act normal, but I choose not to. It’s a really lonely path though, but I believe that contentness beats happiness every time.
    Hope this helps someone. I basically described the 2019 Joker movie.

  46. Can Empathise. I went through a phase of this. Always been socially adept naturally, but at a point in my teenage years I experienced persistent derealisation and depersonalisation.

    Trying to talk to people was absolutely exhausting, and no one seemed to want to listen to me at all. I was ignored constantly, and treated as if I wasn’t there. It was an incredibly lonely time for me. Due to the detachment from my body and emotion, auto pilot etc with being invisible to people, I literally felt like a ghost. A lot of the time I questioned whether or not I was in hell or had I died.

    The isolation was immense. I used to go out and try my hardest to join in with groups and make friends and be around others, but I just felt like I was not part of their world. I was gone and no one cared.

    Years on through hard work, studying the psyche, meditation, self improvement and such, I’m back to my popular self and the dr/dp have faded to the point that I barely notice they’re there.

    But I still remember that time. I sincerely hope that your life improves and you find a healthy way of adjusting yourself into the world. It’s a beautiful place when you’re part of it, but a nightmare when you’re on the outside looking in.

    Good luck bro

  47. This makes me wonder if I’m undiagnosed….all sounds familiar to me.
    Except…. when my energy runs out… my weird side gets super angry.
    I lose jobs… not for violence… just swearing,mumbling to myself…i work heavy civil construction so I get away with lots of my bad behaviour… but things are worse all the time as people are more and more politically correct.

  48. You may be interested in neuroscientist Dr Caroline Leaf here on Youtube. She’s made great strides in understanding neroplasticity and other related topics

  49. I 100% agree with this video. I think there is a subset of thoughts around this category as well, but I can not describe them or find a solution to them. When I try to look them up, there has been no attempt to solve them as they are not viewed as existing ideas. I think if one tried to solve them there would be contradictions in the solution which would result in a kind of exploding solution that is non-linear as more people are accounted for. Generally I think society is filled with figurative bastards that just want to take and take. They are not trying to be mean or anything, they are just self centered. I think the problem described in this video was not always a problem, but a problem that has been created by society today's world. I think if a solution was discovered though, it would solve all problems in the entire world, not just for the individual, and that is how complex the problem is. I think it will be a relatively simple solution, but it may take thousands or even tens of thousands of years to solve, and even larger magnitudes of time for someone to be willing to share that kind of knowledge to the world successfully.

  50. I 100% agree with this video. I think there is a subset of thoughts around this category as well, but I can not describe them or find a solution to them. When I try to look them up, there has been no attempt to solve them as they are not viewed as existing ideas. I think if one tried to solve them there would be contradictions in the solution which would result in a kind of exploding solution that is non-linear as more people are accounted for. Generally I think society is filled with figurative bastards that just want to take and take. They are not trying to be mean or anything, they are just self centered. I think the problem described in this video was not always a problem, but a problem that has been created by society today's world. I think if a solution was discovered though, it would solve all problems in the entire world, not just for the individual, and that is how complex the problem is. I think it will be a relatively simple solution, but it may take thousands or even tens of thousands of years to solve, and even larger magnitudes of time for someone to be willing to share that kind of knowledge to the world successfully.

  51. What and why are you complaining about? you have your own youtube channel. the women like you. you live in a low crime city Melbourne. And you rejected my comments by ignoring them and didnt even give me a like. is it because I'm lopez? or because I'm a man? i don't know. Stop complaining and sounding like you feeling sorry for yourself. I have Asperger's. i reached out to you and you rejected me. hahhh!!!! i do not feel sorry for you. go learn better social skills "mate" hasta luego. yeah I'm Spanish.

  52. Just a question: How do you know if you have aspergers…i think most times a physician may diagnose you but lets say that wasnt the case…how do you know?

  53. Not gonna say same, but similar. I have asperger's and I'm always rejected. Not very social and everyone fucking rewards social assholes. Does anyone else remember Ted Bundy? Nothing wrong with you or me. It's people. But dont think that it's just their fault. Its vice versa. Takes practice to not want to shoot up a school for thinking you're satanic and on meth.

  54. Hi can you explain how people can help or be there for an Aspie. My experience of a aspie is that they more often than not want to be left alone and for a non aspie it is very confusing and Lonely. The aspie I know always rejects my offer of help or connection. Please explain coz I really need to understand this

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