We Were Told To Give Up Our Autistic Twins

We Were Told To Give Up Our Autistic Twins


ANNIE MONTAGUE: We were told they should be institutionalised. MARK MONTAGUE: But we’ve been experiencing miracles. COMM: In Kent, a detached house stands surrounded by high fences and padlocks. COMM: But the Montague family aren’t trying to keep people out, they’re trying to protect
their twin boys Samuel and Jacob. ANNIE MONTAGUE: The boys were diagnosed with autism when they were two and a quarter. It
was quite evident there was something not quite right and with them. You’d come home
from work and there is no response. Mark would just come in, “Hello, boys” and they would
just ignore him. I got nothing back from them at all, didn’t feel they loved us, did we?
MARK MONTAGUE: No, no. They didn’t have any emotional interaction, no expressions.
ANNIE MONTAGUE: So we just cared for them, loved them and fed them and that was our life. COMM: As the boys grew older, their behaviour became more destructive. MARK MONTAGUE: They wrecked everything and soiled everywhere, threw up everywhere, threw
food, smeared food. Everything that could be broken and twisted and snapped was done.
As our house is being utterly trashed every day of the week and you could have nothing. ANNIE MONTAGUE: Because of the boys’ behaviour,
we couldn’t have any furniture. Everything had to be screwed down.
MARK MONTAGUE: Screwed down and up high, just trash the flat, just pull it apart.
ANNIE MONTAGUE: Both boys have escaped from here probably five or six times between them.
We have had to have the police involved, helicopters, police dogs.
MARK MONTAGUE: And that’s why we needed such a high fence all round, because they
are just escape artists. COMM: Despite trying to find help, they were told time and time again that their sons’
behaviour would never improve. ANN SCOTT: The first time I ever came into the family and met them, I remember walking
in and my first sight was seeing Annie, she was sobbing her heart out and it was a social
worker telling her to put her boys into an institution.
MARK MONTAGUE: Every professional advised us, but most of all for them. They…
ANNIE MONTAGUE: Put them into… MARK MONTAGUE: Into residential. So it wasn’t
just experts, it was also friends and family. ANNIE MONTAGUE: And we went and had a look
to residential schools and you can’t get any lower than that as parents to go and find
an alternative place for your children to live.
MARK MONTAGUE: We talked and talked and talked and we both just couldn’t do it. We just
could not give them up. COMM: Determined to keep their family together, Annie and Mark began looking into treatments
for their sons’ autism. COMM: They came across a pioneering treatment called The Son-Rise Programme.
Unlike other methods, it was designed by parents of a severely autistic child. ANNIE MONTAGUE: You were skeptical. MARK MONTAGUE: I was, to be honest. MARK MONTAGUE: But I went to along to support Annie. JACK MASON-GOODALL: The Son-Rise Programme is a relationship-based therapy. So, it’s
about an understanding that autism is primarily a social relational disorder. Autism is about
a person’s difficulty being able to connect and interact and form relationships with another
person. Our approach is getting down to the root cause of what is going on for that child.
MARK MONTAGUE: That was an absolute eye opener, because the people who were teaching it had
a direct involvement with autism. COMM: One of the main techniques of the programme is to stop trying to change the children’s
autistic behaviour and instead join in with them. Mark and Annie immediately saw results. MARK MONTAGUE: The autistic children are well known, you just, you just can’t get
eye contact. The first time you will never forget because I have never done it before
and I was at the table and I was just joining him spinning and suddenly he stops spinning
and just looked up, looked straight into my eyes and there was a look on his face as if
to say, “You know what I’m doing. You are with me”. It was a wonderful experience.
You never forget it. ANNIE MONTAGUE: And then, of course, you’re
now in their world and that over time kind of slightly changed the activity without them
knowing, they’re copying you. Gradually putting them into our world. MARK MONTAGUE: And things started to happen that experts said was impossible, would never
happen. But we have been experiencing miracles. JACK MASON-GOODALL: I’ve seen them change in a quite a profound way in terms of their
ability to follow instructions, the level of calmness that they have, their desire to
want to try to communicate. COMM: The Montagues were initially told their boys would never speak to them, but since
The Son-Rise Programme, they have started to communicate very slowly. ANNIE MONTAGUE: I was told the boys would see you, me, no different than say the postman.
I was just a person that would help them and feed them, don’t expect to get anything
back. But now, I can see they love their mom, I can’t deny it. They come up to me, they
cuddle, they kiss. MARK MONTAGUE: They interact. COMM: Now Annie and Mark are hoping to raise money to attend a further course in America,
which should help them see even more improvements. ANN SCOTT: I think any parent should aspire to be Annie and Mark. I couldn’t tell you
what they have gone through. They have never once given up on their boys. They’ve kept
their family together. ANNIE MONTAGUE: To any parents who find themselves where we were ten years ago, who’ve maybe
recently been given a diagnosis – don’t listen to all the doom and gloom.
MARK MONTAGUE: Every aspect of their life and ours too has been massively improved.
That’s not an exaggeration. We have got two little boys now who are loving, they interact,
they’re caring, they are part of the family. Every expert said that would never happen,
would be impossible. The future for Jacob and Samuel since The Son-Rise Programme is limitless.

100 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Aw…that kind of parenthood can't allow time for another child/sibling.I hope the boys get better and get the help they need.

  2. This program should’ve been created sooner. People kept telling my parents to do all the wrong things when I was younger, and this would’ve helped me a lot more when I was a kid.

  3. They are the cutest! I hope everyone realizes that they are just ordinary kids. I want to give them a big hug! ❤️

  4. My cousin has autism, he doesn’t really like talking to strangers, but he refers to me as a best friend instead of a cousin. Strangers who meet him for the first time judge him way to fast. He’s changed a lot and he’s only five. Things that he used to never be able to do he can do (like talk) and things like being sociable he doesn’t do as easy. People judge autistic people and don’t get to know him. We have a great relationship and we get on well. I just wish others got to know him like I do.

  5. I have autism myself and to neurotypical (non autistic people) people when i have meltdowns.in public they stare and say discipline your kids and mutter to each other about how im naughty and rude but despite all the difficulties and differences i would not like to change who i am i love that i can hear things others cant and smell things no other people can although I am more sensitive than others i dont care

  6. I know that like no one will care but i have found that the understanding of my own aspergers developed was when i read a book called 'dude im an aspie' so i recommend that book

  7. Autistic children are always so physically beautiful. This is something I have noticed with almost every kid.

  8. It just goes to show with the right treatment, autism can be treated. Putting autistic people into institutions is just a lazy and easy way to deal with autistic people. Institionalising will only make matters a lot worse. We need to get to the route cause and treat it.

  9. As a person with autism myself, I can only say this;
    For any parents reading this comment, work with your child. Work with the autism. It'll be hard, and it'll be hard for all parties involved. But its worth it. Some things you can learn how to mimic as a person with autism, and you can learn how to go about different situations. With all the work dad has done with me, I'm grateful. Its not impossible to get better, and don't let anyone tell you that it is. I'm living evidence of improvement.

  10. My cousin has autism. They were told she wouldnt talk, and as of now, she knows 4 diffrent languages (english Spanish Japanese german)

  11. Never give up, I have a autistic nephew and he has been such a blessing in our life! He is very special and he continues to get better and better.

  12. These are some of the best behaved autistic kids I have seen. It's good they live on a farm, exercising and eating healthy. They are doing better than Schatlzein-Ahern's kids (also from Barcroft) who are morbidly obese, do not appear to exercise and eat starchy foods. These parents are doing ok. I wonder, has anybody offered to do the SonRise training for Schatzlein-Aherns?

  13. 10 points to Gryff….wait, Barcroft. This is the fist video I've watched that was actually inspiring….not just blatant glorification of some issue. Well done to these parents.

  14. I have autism and this is not realy me and I have odd that’s like if someone gets a flu shot the guys is like ah f**k then the other guy is like it’s ok man it happenens to the best of us

  15. My mum never was in a good financial situation, and when she heard she will have twins, she literally fainted. And she once told me, when she finally gave birth to me and my twin, the nurse asked politely "would you maybe want to give one away?" And she literally thrown out the nurse out the door. Though, she admitted, that she regrets not giving me up 🙃

  16. To autistics, 'normies' are the weird ones…never forget that. And normies are cruel and selfish from that perspective

  17. Drs ain't that right in everything.. Try by your self at times…u can reverse the chapter….I take care of an autism kid…but ever since I came into their lives…things keep changing positively surprising everyone… U just need to be very patient and calm with an autistic child…

  18. Is there a GoFundMe or something for these boys??? Honestly because I want to find this and donate at some point if they already didnt reach their goals.

    Because my fiance and I have Autism, and are from America, and my mom is a special education teacher…She never gave up on me, and did so much for me knowing something wasnt quite right and just kept plugging and finally they diagnosed me at age 12. For sure it fit me characteristic wise so well.

    I'd love to see someone else that doesnt have it as well as me get the help they need to get better my fiance and I are in the characteristic that seem absolutely normal to the surface, you have to talk to us to know something is wrong.

  19. I have 2 Boys with Autism. If I born again have again two kids with Autism. The change and I change with they. Are my entire life ❣️

  20. I have ADHD and high functioning autism and I spend a lot of time with kids who have severe autism so I know what they’re dealing with. I befriended a 4 year old boy with autism and a learning disability, and we are the epidemy of what acceptance means.
    You accept others and love them no matter what they suffer from.

  21. I remember reading the book about the original child whose parents were inspired to start the Son Rise program. I think that was in the 1970s and I was reading the book in the 1990s….

  22. My 19 year old sister has autism, a mood disorder, and psychosis. (I’m 11 btw) Psychosis is hallucinations. She has specific hallucinations with different names. She has hallucinations from tv shows, ones that have names similar to people we know, she has ones that are objects. She really struggles with them all 🙁

  23. I was 9 when my very much younger cousin was diagnosed with the nonverbal type autism. I can remember my parents sitting me down and explaining how he would never be able to speak. I asked them how his parents would know if he loved them if he couldn't tell them and they told me you just know sometimes, and you know what they're right.

  24. Autism is NOT the end of the world!

    My beautiful son Morgan, was perfect when he was born. When he was 2 I started to notice lots of different things he would do. He was diagnosed with severe Autism at age 3. I was told he’d never be able to talk, interact or make eye contact. I was heartbroken, any parent would be I wanted him to be independent. I was told that the best place would be a residential institution as his behaviour was challenging. I never had even considered giving my child away. Now I have learnt to accept and appreciate my son. We have highs and lows but, I love him I really do and always will, it’s hard to think that just 4 years ago I thought there would be no hope for him. A few months ago he started making I contact and listened to me! And we are very slowly progressing.

    ( my hopes for the future is that he will be able to communicate with the people around him who knows when that will be, maybe a few weeks maybe a few years but I don’t care what happens I will still love and support him ❤️💖

  25. Very disappointing video. The idea is "born different," but they only highlighted the disabilities and then called them "miracles" for functioning at all.

    This series really shouldn't film children who haven't figured out coping mechanisms or self-support systems yet… developing such things is a process, like finding one's niche is for anyone. There are lots of Autistic adults who out there could have given them more insight and optimism and truly shown the uniqueness of being Autistic.

  26. It's just a shame that whenever people see someone with a condition they don't understand they immediately want to institutionalise them.

  27. I have autism mild autism but its still apart of me 30 years of it and i was told i would naver live alone well I'm on my own even though i need help with some stuff I'm still going strong

  28. I thought i never be able to live on my own and do normal things like everyone else my mum was there to support my learning disabilities and now thanks to my mum i live on my own thanks mum you never give up on my learning disabilities and epilepsy

  29. My brother has autism and ADHD Its sad that he basically has almost no feelings for others .and he can't even control his behavior.

  30. https://www.gofundme.com/autism
    this link is so you can donate
    Este link es para que puedan donar

  31. Annie and Mark, you an inspiration to all. It is a real pleasure to take care of your family. Keep sharing your story so others can have the strength to learn and take care of their children too.

  32. How could anyone think they belonged in an institution? They were basically just large toddlers who needed extra help to learn what other people pick up naturally. What little kid doesn't go through a period of breaking stuff and trying to escape?

  33. Many blessings to all of you! Special thanks to the teacher! I hope lot of miracles happen to the boys.

  34. Here’s a random thing about autism from someone with high functioning autism

    Sound for some can be heightened and it can make us act out from discomfort

    I use gun range headphones in the car XD

  35. As someone with Asperger's syndrome i do understand a lot. I can not stand loud noises, crowds, and physical contact. Thought the latter i am obligated to because people would hug or touch me anyway. I just dont feel comfortable and school is a nightmare.

  36. heard alot about this but one thing that really surprise and makes me happy is that most of the parents never regrets having them.. yes it is indeed extra challenge to take care of em but most people says that they give happiness and positivity and energy than the "common" people.. (don't want to use the term "normal" because for me they are normal). these kids are adorable. i Salute the parents 100% for being the best buddy of their twins

  37. When I got diagnosed with autism I told 1 of my friends (my family knew) but this “friend” had decided to tell a tonne of people although I told her not to. And I found out that she was talking about me behind my back. I’ve stopped hanging out with her and decided to hang out with my friends from primary school. I’m

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